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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Stupidest Thing I Have Ever Done

This is not THE stupidest thing I have ever done. Actually, the list is too long to enumerate. This is merely ONE of the stupidest things I have ever done, but I wanted to catch your attention with a flashy headline.



Dateline: Kentucky, 1991.
6th Battalion of the 101st Aviation Regiment was riding high after the stunning success of the Gulf War. Our unit in particular, participated in many historic and record breaking feats during the conflict. Notable among our achievements was the largest helicopter-borne air assault in history. In the first day of the gulf war, our battalion, and the entire aviation brigade, flew over 5000 troops more than 90 miles inside Iraq before 11 am. I was lucky enough to be the flight leader of our company's 9 ship assault formation. By the end of the day, elements of the 101 Airborne Division were looking at the Euphrates River and the main highway from Kuwait to Baghdad, more that 180 miles inside enemy territory. (My oldest son was born 2 days later. I would not receive word of his birth for 7 more days. On the day he was born, we were grounded for a massive sandstorm.)

(News outlet photo)

Our A Company Calling Card


Never in human history has an Army moved so far, under it's own power, in a day. As we encountered enemy resistance, it was crushed with a level of one-sided violence, I had never imagined possible. While our enemy initially put up a fight, the coordinated hell that rained down on them, quickly rendered them combat ineffective. By noon that day, every enemy soldier I saw was either crispy-critter dead or captured.  

My unit was in Iraq and Saudi Arabia from September 1990 to April 1991. Upon returning home we were granted 30 days leave. I spent my leave towing a pop-up camper all over the mountain west, seeing such sights as Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone and Rocky Mountain National Parks. My first born son accompanied me on that trip, he was 4 months old.

(Park File Photo)


After everyone had returned from leave, a process that took months, our unit was back up to full strength. My first assignment was a 2 helicopter deployment to the Kentucky National Guard, assisting their state in its drug interdiction program. We would be temporarily attached to the national guard and placed under the direction of the Kentucky State Police, and various local law enforcement agencies.




With door guns mounted and loaded, we would land at various LZ's, pick up the state troopers and sometimes, national guard troops. We spent the next two weeks performing an aerial search, based on intelligence, trying to locate marijuana plots. We became very good at spotting pot plants from the air. Upon locating such a field, we would either land nearby, or rappel in the troops to begin their seizure of the plants, arresting anyone nearby. My aircraft alone was responsible for harvesting over 5000 plants. Really nice plants.



One day I had to tell my copilot to look out for that B-52. No shit. A B-52 came over a ridge, at tree top level, right at our 12 o'clock. I never thought I'd ever say, "Look out for that B-52."




At one marijuana plot location, the terrain was too steep to land, and we were not rigged for rappelling. Over dense brush and shrubs, I hovered as close as I could to the steep slope. I occupied the left seat and  had a clear view out my window of the uphill side. I lowered the helicopter as much as possible. So low in fact, the massive Huey rotor blades were trimming a shrub to within two feet of the ground. The slope was so steep the landing gear on that side were still 7' off the ground! I informed the troops to exit on the left side and to NOT go uphill due to the rotor being so close to the ground. All but one followed my directions. 3 troops on the left side slid out of the door, onto the skid tube, and hanging from it, they let go and fell the 4-5' to the ground. One trooper, however, elected to exit out of the right door. My faithful and trusty combat copilot that day, John Clements, advised me the last thing he saw was the guys backpack disappearing, as he fell into the brush, far below the right hand side. Hahahaha, dumb-ass.

The troops would then carefully enter the plot, taking great care to watch out for booby traps, and using machetes, they would chop down the crop. Other cops would encircle the plot on ATV's, trying to catch the growers in the area. Our door guns were manned during these assaults, in the event we had to return fire. The troopers would bundle up the plants and we would haul it away as a sling load to collection point, where it was usually destroyed.

Don't smoke pot...see what it does...

One day, after dropping the last load at the collection point, we elected to shut down and chat with the state troopers. Presiding over a massive burn pit, a state trooper with a long marijuana stalk, prodded and poked the fire, ensuring it was all consumed. Walking up to the guy, he regales us saying, "HEY GUYSSSSSS HOW'S IT GOINGGGGGG?" Wait, what? Holy shit. This cop is stoned out of his gourd. Looking closer, he was grinning from ear to ear, with bloodshot eyes. Us pilots stood there quietly snickering at this wasted cop. After about 30 minutes at the fire pit, we were all laughing and goofing off.

A wire strike accident

We remounted our helicopter and prepared for departure. I had the brilliant idea that we should take off and return to do a fly-by down the highway. 90 knots should suffice. Having flown about a mile away, we turned around, dropped down to low level over the highway, and proceeded at maximum speed to buzz the cops at the LZ. Yeehaaa..... they are waving and grinning.....great success!!.....wow, we are soooo awesomely cool. Still grinning, I turned my head to look back out the front windscreen and was startled to find high-tension power lines, stretched across the the highway at eye level, way, way too close to the helicopter. I begin a massive cyclic climb, still at 90 knots plus. I was even more startled to find a 2nd set of wires above the first.  With the cyclic at the aft stop, the helicopter near vertical now, I spy the 3rd set of wires above the rest. We cleared them by about four feet.

My copilot that day, a fresh young WO1, said, "Wow, that was really cool." I looked at him him for a long time, like a giant squid was growing out of his head. The realization dawning on me that this guy had no clue we almost died, not less than 5 seconds ago. I calmly said, "You have the controls." I then sat on my hands for the next 30 minutes till they stopped shaking. (No Joke)

1 comment:

  1. Unreal how many times you've faced death's door. A talented pilot and lucky man. Loving your blogs Dave. Amazing life you've had:)

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